enough already
I just don't get it.
We were friends. We were good friends.
All of a sudden, he just stops talking to me one day. He stops talking to everyone.
KSP, I thought. He's doing it on purpose. He's isolating himself in hopes of people noticing his disappearance; yeah, that'll get him the attention he wants.
Then after a few weeks he sent me a message. "I just wanted to see what it's like being quiet," he says. I say okay, and we're cool. Or at least I thought we were cool.
He starts hanging out with me and my friends again. But he does things to test my patience. Immature things. (take for example, constantly blowing into my ear) I thought nobody did that anymore; I thought everyone was past that already.
But he still annoys the heck out of everyone. It's like he lives to annoy. People have the same reactions. I just wanna pound him into a lumpy mass of compost. At least then he'll have some purpose in life, other than wasting people's time.
It didn't come as much of a surprise to me when one day, he stops talking to me - again. I asked him a question and he just walks by.
It was then, during Science, when I felt my blood boil for the first time in a long time. I mean REALLY boil.
Our classmate was giving a report, and she got angry at everyone for not listening. Then he laughs at her. It was not the usual kind of laugh. It was deafening. I gritted my teeth and put up with it. For some reason, I put up with it. I just silenced the creature inside me that wanted very much to drive the pen it was holding deep down into his ugly, yellowish eyes.
Everyone was silent already, but still, he continued to laugh at my poor classmate. She couldn't take it anymore. She told him off in front of everyone. She yelled at him. I had never heard her that angry before.
He continued laughing like it hadn't hurt him. I don't see how it could have anyway; his thick face could stop a bullet.
Apparently he felt like his "laughter" hadn't earned him enough attention yet, so he started to pick on my friend Janine. He asked her stupid questions in a very loud voice, and anyone with eyes could see that Janine was getting annoyed beyond her wits. I was getting annoyed beyond mine. Aloha told us later that his airhead talk had given her a headache, and she wasn't lying.
I felt like I could've banged my head against the wall just to make him shut up. I can't describe how annoying it all was to me.
I couldn't take it anymore.
Trying to control my the volume of my voice, I told him,
"Could you just stop it? It's stupid, it's pointless. Everyone here is getting annoyed and you seem to be enjoying it very much. I just can't take it anymore."
And then he did the most chilidish thing ever: He plugged his ears with his fingers and stuck his tongue out and said, "I'm not talking to you."
"I know that, but I'M talking to YOU. You're being so stupid. I don't know why. I just wish you'd stop."
I could've said more. I could've said a LOT more. I was on the verge of saying a curse word; it was right on my lips, I could've said it.
But I was just too focused on controlling my anger and making my voice calm that my choice of words became limited.
I could've hit him in the face right then and there; I wanted to so much. But my sensible side told me not to, that I would regret it in the future.
One thing's for sure: The only thing I regret now is NOT hitting him.
As the bell rang and I left the Bio lab with my two faithful friends, I tried to control my breathing. My heart was just beating so fast and I got a burst of energy in my fists. I have never been more furious in my life.
. . .
We had a bull session later that morning. I had suggested it.
I told him things in front of the class. I told him he was being such a pain. But I couldn't tell him enough. Again I could not find the right words to tell him about all he's doing.
When he was asked for his side of the story, he said he had started giving me the cold shoulder because I didn't say hi to him one day. Then he walked out of the room. Edda then explained that he had told her that he was feeeling left out. He felt like everyone had barkadas, and he didn't belong to any group.
That didn't make things any better. WE were his barkada. WE accepted him. HE was the one who left. HE was the one who blamed everything on ME. HE's the one who thinks he's right all the time.
I'm very angry. He probably wants me to come crawling to him, begging him for forgiveness.
Disgusting.
And all because I didn't say hi.
. . .
I'm not apologizing.
No more Ms. Nice Girl.
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